Always chase up references when first hiring your nanny and make
sure that you feel at ease with her. Ask her back for a second
and even third interview and trust your instincts. And no doubt
then if you treat the one you pick well you will encounter no
problems. 99.9% of nannies are great! However there have been
bad nannies and there will be again and this is the very small
chance that you take when deciding on nanny care. Most are lovely
and all but a few I have come across in my 10 years as a professional
trained nanny were loving and caring and genuinely committed to
children.
You may doubt your nanny because your child is unhappy in her
care and cries when left with her, and this may be a sign, but
may also just be a child who finds separation from you hard. Nanny
will probably tell you that your child settles as soon as you
leave but if you can return home unexpectedly and quietly on a
few occasions and find that your child is happy and settled then
that will put your mind at rest and show you that you shouldn't
have anything to worry about. However if she is still upset and
unresponsive to nanny then discuss this with her and trust your
instincts. If your child never wants to go to nanny and seems
to truly dislike her then there may be a problem. Although some
children are just clingy to their parents and don't really want
anyone else looking after them. This together with your distrust
in nanny will cause your child not to bond with her. So take care
and ask other's opinions too, such as other mums who visit toddler
groups where nanny visits or your cleaning lady.
It isn't advisable to ask your child about nanny as this may prompt
her to invent something or exaggerate because of the attention
she is getting from the situation. Also, she may sense your anxiety,
causing a breakdown in her relationship with her nanny. Instead
just tell her that generally if anything horrible happened to
her or if anyone was horrid to her then she must tell you straight
away and you would help, and not judge her. Also listen to how
she talks about nanny and talk about what she has done with her
that day etc. I cannot endorse or advise against the use of cameras
or recording equipment as I do feel that there are privacy issues
and I feel that there would have to be severe doubts in the parents
minds to warrant this type of measure. However it is an absolute
foolproof way of finding out whether a nanny is a good one or
not.
On the other hand it may cause you to sack a nanny for a simple
discipline issue where you're methods almost certainly will differ
from that of your nanny's, and where she would be getting very
good results from her methods but you may feel that she is too
strict as you will almost certainly be softer in your approach.
Whenever you see someone disciplining a child (let alone your
own child and on tape) it does make you feel agitated and upset.
The discipline will probably be the best solution to the misbehaviour
and will work, but you may see it as too much if it is someone
else doing it. It is hard I know but be reasonable as nannies
are great at getting children to behave beautifully. Yes they
may be strict, but they should also be kind and fun when your
child is behaving.
There is a way of testing out a nanny's personality by getting
her handwriting analysed. This is called graphology and it the
art of telling personality traits from handwriting. I do believe
in this and feel that it could help, as any information about
a potential carer for your child is great! The reasoning behind
it is that when we write it comes from our brain impulses and
not from our hand so it is a window into our minds. If you would
like this done on a sample of nanny's handwriting then contact
Corinne Corre B.A.G on tel/fax: 0208-346-8524 or email corinne@corre.demon.co.uk
. She will charge you £90 for an In-depth analysis broadly
covering integrity, emotional balance, maturity and reliability.
