Babies usually have a reason for crying, although some seem to cry continually and nothing seems to comfort them. As a parent you will probably feel frustrated and tired, not to mention at your wits end! Try to relax - easier said than done, I know - because it does really help, but above all try to understand why baby is crying in the first place. I have put together a list of the main causes of babies crying. Check for the following first of all:
Hunger? - Does she need a feed? (Remember, breast-fed babies feed more often than bottle-fed babies).
Wind? - Try winding her by holding or sitting her upright over your shoulder or on your knee and patting and rubbing her gently on the back.
Thirst? - Bottle-fed babies tend to get thirstier than breast-fed babies, as breast-fed babies already get all their fluid from the breast milk. She may need some cooled boiled water in hot weather if she's bottle-fed. But remember, never give juice in a bottle after her first teeth come in, and never give a baby fizzy drinks!
Too hot or cold? - Small babies cannot control their own temperature so you need to check that she's not sweaty or cold, and dress her accordingly.
Dirty nappy? - Always change a dirty nappy straight away as leaving it causes soreness and nappy rash.
Nappy rash? - If your baby has a nasty stingy bottom she will love a time with her bottom exposed to the air. Lay her on her back on a towel with her nappy/diaper off in order to let air circulate for half an hour. Remember to apply plenty of barrier cream like zinc and caster oil before putting on a fresh nappy/diaper. Change her frequently.
Boredom? - Your baby may just want some attention and cuddles.
Tiredness? - She may need a sleep so try putting her down in her crib/cot.
Allergy? – Occasionally babies have cow's milk allergies and in this case you need to ask your doctor or health visitor about alternative formulas. If you're breastfeeding try cutting out dairy products yourself and introduce them again later.
Illness? - You will know if the crying is due to illness because your baby will also show other symptoms such as having a temperature, sickness, diarrhoea, a rash, loss of appetite and so on. You will also notice if the crying is different and/or more intense. You can tell if she has a headache because she cries when lifted and prefers to be left alone. She may have a cold and her blocked nose is interfering with her feeding. In these instances, seek medical attention for your baby.
Colic? - No one really knows what causes this or what the exact symptoms for baby are, but it seems to happen to babies under 4 months old and the theory is that it's trapped wind that causes severe pains in the abdomen (although there is no proof of this, and some cultures don't believe in it at all). Possible telltale signs could include a hard tummy, high pitched screaming, crying at certain times of the day (often the evening), crying after a feed, and drawing up her legs in pain. Colic may be helped with remedies such as gripe water or Infacol, which are given before feeds. There are also some fennel based herbal remedies.
Reflux? – Many babies suffer from this form of baby indigestion and it can be very disturbing for your baby and for you. Some babies are often sick but many do not actually bring anything up but may be experiencing heartburn all the same. You can get remedies from your doctor that help. For more tips for helping a baby with reflux contact me for help using the Services page.
Irritable? - Some babies are generally more irritable than others and need more attention, but they should grow out of it by their first year.
Stress? - If you're tense and nervous with your new baby, she will sense it and cry. Try and relax and take up friend and family's offers of help! Get some sleep and remember that no one is the perfect parent. We all live and learn.
Sensitive? - Some babies can feel overwhelmed when they are born, and too many stimuli can confuse and distress them. These babies like quiet and can only cope with one thing at a time. Limit the number of visitors that you have at one time.
Teething? - Teething starts at about 5 or 6 months, and may go on until the age of 2 or longer. See the section on Teething for ways of relieving teething pain.
Preventing or stopping crying
Swaddling
In my experience swaddling is one
of the best ways to settle a crying baby. Place a thin blanket/shawl/sheet
on a flat surface. For winter, cold weather or premature babies, put
baby on top with her head about 2” down from the top. Then
fold the right side of the shawl firmly - not loosely - over
her left arm so that the top of the shawl acts like a hood over
her head and the edge of the shawl is by her side. Fold the other
side firmly over baby's other arm in the same way, and then fold
the sides in again firmly to wrap baby up in a tight little bundle.
For summer or warm weather, place baby on the shawl with the
top of the shawl lined up with her neck. Wrap one side over her
body tightly, and then the other side, wrapping the shall all
the way round the back to secure under her. This makes her feel
secure and comforted and her arms will no longer be flailing
about and disturbing her. She will love to be rocked in your
arms this way while you gently pat her bottom or back. A little
lullaby wouldn't go amiss either. Remember to use a thin blanket
and to use one less layer on top, as she mustn't get overheated.
Noise and soothing music
Soothing music is another aid to restful
sleep, or simply as a way of calming baby down. Mozart, Beethoven
and Bach are great for this - classical music is not only very
soothing, it has been proven to be beneficial to baby's intellectual
development. Your baby will probably love your favourite music,
as it's been familiar to her when she's been in the womb. Gentle
lullabies and nature sounds are also very comforting. 'White
noise' from a vacuum or washing machine has been known to soothe
babies, and tuning a radio to the noise between stations also
works on occasions. If it is helpful you can record the vacuum
or washing machine noise onto a tape to be used later. It saves
your carpets becoming threadbare with all that hoovering!
Sucking
Sucking on the bottle, breast, a soother
/ pacifier, or a thumb can help her to stop crying. You can
also let her suck on one of your clean fingers or hold her
thumb up to her mouth for her until she gets the hang of it.
If you don't want your baby to suck her thumb because of the
risk that she will not want to give it up later, and you're
afraid that her teeth will suffer, then obviously don't encourage
it. But in my opinion the fact that baby can comfort herself
whenever she wants is invaluable, and you can worry about getting
her to stop when she is older. (Children will usually stop
by themselves by the time they're five, but if she doesn't
then tell her that she can suck her thumb at bedtime but not
during the day at first. Put nail biting solution onto her
nail during the day, and keep reminding her every time you
see her put her thumb to her mouth. She will soon tire of the
constant harassment she gets about it. Then encourage her to
give it up at bedtime too. Praise her if she goes a whole hour,
day or night without sucking.)
Baby massage
Baby massage is a lovely way to spend quality time
with your baby, as skin-to-skin contact is very good for her.
When you massage your baby regularly she will benefit from
relief from colic, colds, coughs, irritability, and sleeplessness.
It actually strengthens the immune system by improving the
circulation of blood, as well as enhancing co-ordination
and flexibility. Regular massage has been shown to ease postnatal
depression, increase confidence within the family and deepen
love and communication between massage provider and child.
There are classes that you can attend to learn the technique
properly, but if you decide just to try it yourself it's
easy enough! Simply make sure that the room is nice and warm,
and then place your baby on her back with only a nappy on.
Make sure you lay her on a comfortable, flat, and safe surface.
Perhaps lay her on top of a soft towel to soak up any oil.
You can buy baby massage oils in health food stores and online,
which are sensitive enough for baby's skin. Rub a little
into the palms of your hands to warm it slightly then simply
start to give baby a relaxing massage.
Slings
Slings are excellent for keeping baby
close to you when she won't stop crying and the only way to
comfort her is to carry her round all the time. This way you
can get on with your day-to-day chores and keep baby happy
at the same time. Both you and baby will love the closeness
you will feel.
Walk or a drive
Try a walk or a drive to settle
baby, as the motion will help calm her down. This will also help
you, as there's nothing more refreshing than a change of scene.
You'll feel better walking a long in the fresh air or driving
a long the road!
Rocking
I have listed rocking last, as I am
not terribly keen to advise it, because if used to lull baby
to sleep can cause long-term sleep problems. Rocking is a very
comforting action for baby when she is crying but be aware that
if you start the habit of rocking to get baby to sleep, then
she will always need rocking and will be unable to drift off
to sleep by herself. This will cause sleep problems as baby will
be unable to get herself back to sleep if she wakes in the night
and will need you to comfort her every time she wakes. So,
just rock until baby calms down, and then if she seems tired,
put her into her pram / cot / crib for a sleep while she's still
awake.
Combining techniques
Try a combination of many
of the above techniques. Rock a swaddled baby while she sucks her
soother/pacifier. Give her a massage while she listens to some
soothing music. Sing to her while you carry her around in a sling,
and so on.
Still crying
If baby is still crying and you really need a break ask a friend or family member to help out for a couple of hours so you can sleep or spend time relaxing. Failing that, lie baby down, after making sure that she's not hungry, wet, dirty, cold or hot and lying on her side in case the crying makes her sick, with a rolled up towel at her back, then having settled her into her pram or cot / crib, either push her pram to the bottom of the garden or shut a couple of doors for 5 or 10 minutes to give yourself some rest. Check on her frequently and make sure she is safe, but remember you're important too and you need a break. Sit down, have a cup of tea and read a magazine for a while, or have a cry to release some tension. TRY AND RELAX! If you are feeling tense it isn't good for either of you, and remember if you're super stressed she will not find comfort easily with you anyway! If nothing seems to work, and you become distraught, ask your health visitor for advice. She will be able to reassure you and give further advice, and check for reflux and that you're not suffering from post natal depression.
For more information on how to stop
your baby crying or how to recognise your baby’s cries,
choose a service from the Services page
. Also for help with older children crying and how to recognise,
and stop your child crying for attention contact me using the
Services page!
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