Parenting Advice >Parenting Advice > Encouragement

Praise and Reward

It is excellent to use discipline as a tool to control and lessen negative behaviour but it isn’t enough on it’s own to teach children to self discipline by which I mean make them actually want to behave well. To give children the incentive to behave we must use rewards. Not necessarily monetary rewards or gifts but more importantly praise. Praising your child when she behaves well is an absolutely vital part of good parenting and it’s important not to let a good deed or good behaviour go unrecognised. Giving lots of praise when your child is good will ensure she wants to behave that way. So actively look for good behaviour to reward with praise and attention, even when she is just playing quietly.

However do not praise her when she's misbehaving as this causes her to do it more. Once she has stopped misbehaving and apologised for whatever she's done, do feel free to praise her then, it’s important not to hold resentment with children! Forgive and forget, and hopefully, if you disciplined her fully, she will be less likely to re-offend anyway.

Rewards and reward systems are a vital part of the The Parent Guru program and if you sign up you will receive a personalised exclusive reward system. Everything we do in life is for the rewards we get. Whether it is coming to work in the morning in order to receive the monetary reward or taking a bite to eat to receive the reward of satisfying our hunger. Think about it, you need to use rewards to increase the good behaviour just as much as you need to use discipline to lessen negative behaviour.

For more guidance with how to shape your child’s behaviour in a positive way and learn more about rewards and reward systems, easy to follow techniques for all ages, if your child just won’t behave, and never listens, or if you think you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, then sign up for an The Parent Guru personalised program using the link to the Services page!

 

Communication

Communication between children and their parents or carers is very important. From the moment a baby is born he will feel more secure and loved if you respond to his needs, and you will become so good at this that you will know the difference between the sounds of his cries - tiredness, hunger and so on. This will quicken and aid the bonding process!

Research has found that if children feel that their wishes are listened to and understood they develop better than children whose wishes are ignored. When a child feels that his needs and desires are important to you then he feels important within himself. Sometimes allowing him to win arguments is good for his self-confidence and independence too. This is why you should always try and encourage your child to vocalise his needs and be aware of them. Even if they cannot be fulfilled you can explain why, and perhaps offer an alternative. If your child wants to go to the park but it is nighttime, don’t just say 'no', explain that it is dark outside and he can go tomorrow instead. If he insists, just keep repeating yourself calmly until he gives up! Try to distract him, but always explain things to him because in that way his understanding of the world will grow and mature, and he will learn to empathise with others.

When a child is frustrated or angry, start by saying “I understand that you feel angry but….” And go on to explain that they cannot do whatever it is they are doing because… This works for any type of emotion and is vital for teaching children to recognise their own feelings and therefore teach them to control them, or let them out, whatever is appropriate at the time. Always start “I understand that you feel…”

Back